If you had a choice, would you choose to work less or more? I feel pretty comfortable in saying that most of the human race would rather work less for the same results. Why then, do we so often give ourselves more work than necessary, and often with less results? It's every oxy-moronic.
I'm talking about procrastination. You're probably all smiling and nodding your heads at this point; you know what I mean. I should have realized this a long time ago, but obviously I didn't because Wednesday night right before the research paper rough draft was due found me up late on the computer, surrounded by books and articles, starting to stress out of my skin. As I went to the school the next on about four hours of sleep, I started realizing how much more work procrastination was. It seems counter-intuitive, since we usually spend less time on something we've procrastinated than we would had we done it in a timely manner. However, I am convinced that the stress and loss of sleep amount to having spent four times as much time on the assignment than we would have otherwise. And stressing too much can lead to death, which is never a good thing.
The worst part is that the assignment we procrastinated and spent four times as much energy on than we should have is probably not as good as it would have been had we done it early. Isn't that an interesting oxymoron that continues to crop up in our lives: we strive to do the same amount of work with less effort, yet we constantly make choices that lead to us doing more work for less results. What's worse is that we know about this problem; we're told all through the scriptures "don't procrastinate the day of your repentance." I feel like many people don't catch the full meaning because they focus on the repentance part, but if you take that part off, it becomes "don't procrastinate." We've been told for centuries not to do it, and logically, we shouldn't want to do it, but the moon still finds us up late into the morning, writing papers, and stressing over an undone project. It makes me feel stupid.
However, with this feeling of stupidity comes a re-found resolve to end my procrastinatory tendencies. After I've felt how much work procrastinating takes (research paper, studying for tests...this blog), I have decided that procrastination is one of the Devil's tricks, and I am not going to fall for it anymore. I no longer want to give the Devil a reason to laugh and sneer.
So the moral of the story? Don't procrastinate.
Monday, December 6, 2010
13. Eternal Perspective
During the October 2010 General Conference, Per G. Malm of the Seventy spoke of having an Eternal perspective. This talk hit me very hard. He said, "A helpful habit is to lift our vision daily in order to maintain an eternal perspective of the things we plan and do..." He then told a story about his Grandmother, her grandchild, and some eggs: "She sent one of her young children to buy some eggs. The trusted child was probably joyfully walking home along the road, but most of the eggs were broken when the child arrived home. A friend of the family was there and admonished my grandmother to scold the child for behaving so badly. Instead, Grandmother calmly and wisely said, 'No, that will not make the eggs whole again. We will simply use what we can and make some pancakes that we can enjoy together.' "
At this point in his talk, I realized something. We look forward our whole lives to what we'll do after college, what our job will be, where we'll be in retirement. We complain about how hard enduring to the end is. However, I would submit that if we look shift our view above the mundane of the world and look forward to Eternal life, making choices based on this and not on what job we'll have in five years, we will find it infinitely easier to endure faithfully, to keep the commandments, and love God. We will have His Spirit with us, we will not have questions about the gray areas of life, we will naturally live righteously. Elder Malm said this, "When we learn to handle the small and simple daily things in a wise and inspired way, the result is a positive influence that will solidify harmony in our souls and build up and strengthen those around us."
It is a training process to lift our view to Eternal spheres, but I believe that when we do, we will be happier. Our lives will be full of joy, we'll look around us and see the beautiful things in this world, see His children for who they are and love them. If we have an Eternal perspective, everything else will simply fall into place how it should be, and God will make more out of our life than we ever could imagine was possible.
At this point in his talk, I realized something. We look forward our whole lives to what we'll do after college, what our job will be, where we'll be in retirement. We complain about how hard enduring to the end is. However, I would submit that if we look shift our view above the mundane of the world and look forward to Eternal life, making choices based on this and not on what job we'll have in five years, we will find it infinitely easier to endure faithfully, to keep the commandments, and love God. We will have His Spirit with us, we will not have questions about the gray areas of life, we will naturally live righteously. Elder Malm said this, "When we learn to handle the small and simple daily things in a wise and inspired way, the result is a positive influence that will solidify harmony in our souls and build up and strengthen those around us."
It is a training process to lift our view to Eternal spheres, but I believe that when we do, we will be happier. Our lives will be full of joy, we'll look around us and see the beautiful things in this world, see His children for who they are and love them. If we have an Eternal perspective, everything else will simply fall into place how it should be, and God will make more out of our life than we ever could imagine was possible.
12. First Presidency Christmas Devotional
The First Presidency Christmas Devotional last night was amazing. In congruence with what we talked about at church that day, an amazing realization struck me: we were there, singing as angels at His birth, and now we herald His second coming in this life.
Our choir director is in Women's Chorus. At Celebrations of Christmas, they sang "Silent Night". Our choir is also singing "Silent Night", so I choir director presented us with an interesting idea that her choir director had presented. As we sing "Silent Night", we are to think about that night, about the angels, the shepherds. Then think that we were probably one of those angels who sang praises on that lonely hill with the shepherds. When we sang that song, we were to pick a character from the manger scene and sing as that character. Our choir director told us she always picks the angel. I found it really interesting and wonderful to think that I really was one of those angels.
With this idea still fresh in my mind, I watched the Christmas Devotional. President Uchtdorf said, "When Jesus was born, the joy in Heaven was so great, it could not be contained." (May be slightly different, I don't have the actual text.) We know this from the Book of Mormon account when the Heavens lit up, and from the Bible when the angels sang to the shepherds. When he said that, I thought about how I was one of those angels that could not be contained. Was I one of the angels who sang to the shepherds? I don't know if I have ever felt joy like that since that day long ago, but I know my soul still remembers the feeling.
When he spoke of our duty now, to prepare the Earth for His second coming, everything clicked with perfect clarity. We were there, that silent night so long ago. We were the ones who couldn't be contained within the veil. We were filled with so much joy we could not be quiet. Now, we are here to herald Christ's Second Coming. We don't speak out because we feel nervous or worried about rejection or looking stupid. I would assert that in order to overcome this fear and hesitation, we must reconnect with the joy we felt when Christ was born at the Meridian of Time. Our souls know the feeling, and long to feel it again. Through the Gospel, we can find that joy, and when we do, we will not be able to be contained by our mortal feelings: we will share that joy with the whole world. I hope someday I can reconnect with that joy, and fulfill this yearning in my soul for the pure love of Christ, the greatest joy of all.
Our choir director is in Women's Chorus. At Celebrations of Christmas, they sang "Silent Night". Our choir is also singing "Silent Night", so I choir director presented us with an interesting idea that her choir director had presented. As we sing "Silent Night", we are to think about that night, about the angels, the shepherds. Then think that we were probably one of those angels who sang praises on that lonely hill with the shepherds. When we sang that song, we were to pick a character from the manger scene and sing as that character. Our choir director told us she always picks the angel. I found it really interesting and wonderful to think that I really was one of those angels.
With this idea still fresh in my mind, I watched the Christmas Devotional. President Uchtdorf said, "When Jesus was born, the joy in Heaven was so great, it could not be contained." (May be slightly different, I don't have the actual text.) We know this from the Book of Mormon account when the Heavens lit up, and from the Bible when the angels sang to the shepherds. When he said that, I thought about how I was one of those angels that could not be contained. Was I one of the angels who sang to the shepherds? I don't know if I have ever felt joy like that since that day long ago, but I know my soul still remembers the feeling.
When he spoke of our duty now, to prepare the Earth for His second coming, everything clicked with perfect clarity. We were there, that silent night so long ago. We were the ones who couldn't be contained within the veil. We were filled with so much joy we could not be quiet. Now, we are here to herald Christ's Second Coming. We don't speak out because we feel nervous or worried about rejection or looking stupid. I would assert that in order to overcome this fear and hesitation, we must reconnect with the joy we felt when Christ was born at the Meridian of Time. Our souls know the feeling, and long to feel it again. Through the Gospel, we can find that joy, and when we do, we will not be able to be contained by our mortal feelings: we will share that joy with the whole world. I hope someday I can reconnect with that joy, and fulfill this yearning in my soul for the pure love of Christ, the greatest joy of all.
Sunday, December 5, 2010
11. Following in Another's Footsteps
I'm a dancer, among other things. I dance Country Swing, Lindy Hop, Charleston, Blue Tango, and even a little Hip Hop. If you teach it to me, I'll dance it. When I first started out, I was in a High School class with more girls than guys with one of my band friends. We decided that since we were comfortable with each other, we'd dance together. After a few days, we settled into a pattern with me leading and her following. So, the first four months of my dance career (not including those times at EFY or Youth Conference when they try to teach teenagers to touch each other and dance), I was the lead of our team. We had fun in that class. I learned the basic steps to a bunch of new dances, and learned how to move to a beat. However, I found I had trouble when I came to college and now had to follow a guy I had only just met and would only dance with for one song.
When I started following, I was stiff and thought more about the steps than the movement. I'd watch the feet of my partner and strive to do my part perfectly. What ended up happening was that it looked stiff, incompetent, and like a made a ton of mistakes. I joined the Swing Kids Beginning Dance Team, and there I learned how to follow. I learned to let go. The steps are important, but you must implant them in your brain so it becomes second nature to do them, and then not think about them anymore. Put in a little style, and go big. If you dance big, even if you make a mistake no one can tell. Over the course of two months, I learned what steps generally follow certain steps. I got good at reacting to what steps a guy takes. This worked: it looked OK. But it felt off-step. I was always half a step behind the guy, reacting instead of going with him. Then last Thursday, I went to Blue Tango at the OZZ...
At Blue Tango, I had a very interesting conversation. One of my partners said he has led and followed and he decided following was harder. I disagreed; I thought following was easier since you only think in the moment, not about what's coming. However, I have since thought about it, and decided he was right. I think following is harder. When you lead, you think just about what you're doing, and what you want your partner to do, then you push or pull them that way, give them cues to tell them what to do. The follow, however nice it is not to think about what's coming, has the harder job because they must interpret the clues the lead gives them, and act accordingly, all in a split-second so it doesn't look off-set. It's a mind-set different from our normal mind-set. When I realized that in the last week, I also realized that following God is a mind-set we must develop, it's a process. As followers of God, He is sending us signals on what He wants us to do. It is our job to interpret and act on those signals in a timely manner. If we are distracted or out-of-tune (if our connection is bad), we misinterpret signals, or miss them altogether, and our life becomes off-kilter.
So, this semester as I've danced, I've learned to develop a follower's mind-set and have gotten better at understanding where my partner wants me to go next. I'm still learning, but with practice I'll get there. And I'll keep developing my connection with God to get a better and understanding of where He wants me to go next. With practice throughout my life, I'll get to where He can give me a look and I'll know what He wants and do it, so I'll be an instrument in His hands.
When I started following, I was stiff and thought more about the steps than the movement. I'd watch the feet of my partner and strive to do my part perfectly. What ended up happening was that it looked stiff, incompetent, and like a made a ton of mistakes. I joined the Swing Kids Beginning Dance Team, and there I learned how to follow. I learned to let go. The steps are important, but you must implant them in your brain so it becomes second nature to do them, and then not think about them anymore. Put in a little style, and go big. If you dance big, even if you make a mistake no one can tell. Over the course of two months, I learned what steps generally follow certain steps. I got good at reacting to what steps a guy takes. This worked: it looked OK. But it felt off-step. I was always half a step behind the guy, reacting instead of going with him. Then last Thursday, I went to Blue Tango at the OZZ...
At Blue Tango, I had a very interesting conversation. One of my partners said he has led and followed and he decided following was harder. I disagreed; I thought following was easier since you only think in the moment, not about what's coming. However, I have since thought about it, and decided he was right. I think following is harder. When you lead, you think just about what you're doing, and what you want your partner to do, then you push or pull them that way, give them cues to tell them what to do. The follow, however nice it is not to think about what's coming, has the harder job because they must interpret the clues the lead gives them, and act accordingly, all in a split-second so it doesn't look off-set. It's a mind-set different from our normal mind-set. When I realized that in the last week, I also realized that following God is a mind-set we must develop, it's a process. As followers of God, He is sending us signals on what He wants us to do. It is our job to interpret and act on those signals in a timely manner. If we are distracted or out-of-tune (if our connection is bad), we misinterpret signals, or miss them altogether, and our life becomes off-kilter.
So, this semester as I've danced, I've learned to develop a follower's mind-set and have gotten better at understanding where my partner wants me to go next. I'm still learning, but with practice I'll get there. And I'll keep developing my connection with God to get a better and understanding of where He wants me to go next. With practice throughout my life, I'll get to where He can give me a look and I'll know what He wants and do it, so I'll be an instrument in His hands.
10. French Horn and Me
"Why do you play French Horn?"
When my teacher asked me this in my lesson, I told her because I like to create music and I love the sound of the horn. She told me this wasn't good enough. It isn't.
I've played horn for seven years now. Think about that, if a soccer player just liked to kick a ball around and loved the sounds of a crowd, would he stick with soccer for seven years? I don't think so. These are pluses, but he's got to like the thrill of running around a field, fighting against an opposing team, controlling a little rolling thing...you get the idea.
Let's start at the beginning, to see how I got here, and maybe learn something along the way...
I started playing Horn in 6th grade. In 5th grade, they came to each class and passed around a sign-up sheet for those who wanted to join band. When it got to me, I picked Horn for three reasons:
1. It sounded like an interesting instrument.
2. My dad played it in High School.
3. It was challenging. You had to get the director's permission to play it. I like challenges.
These reasons lasted about a month. Sure, it was a challenge and an interesting instrument, but it didn't feel like much of a challenge for me: it came almost naturally, like math. And it really didn't matter that my dad had played it, that had only caught my attention. So I had to have new reasons to keep playing the Horn.
My second reason for playing was that I couldn't quit before getting one year into it. I also liked learning, and I learned that whole first year. I loved the people in our small band in sixth grade, and band was the only time I talked to them. I think a major part was that I didn't want to let anyone down by quitting (I was the only Horn).
Those reasons only hold up for 6th grade, however, because in 7th grade, I went to Junior High School and joined the 7th grade band. I was one of 6 horns, in a band that was at least five times bigger than the one I had just recently left. My band friends became my all-the-time friends, and we had a blast. No one would be severely let down if I quit, since I was one of six Horns sitting on the third row. All of my previous reasons once again became obsolete. I found myself, yet again, changing my reasons for playing, and not even realizing it.
I feel like 8th grade is the time when my current reasons started forming. Unfortunately, I didn't keep a journal back then, so I really don't know what I thought or way I stayed in band. Part of it was the friends I had there. As humans, we are social, and band was how I could be social really easily. I also really liked my band directors. In 8th grade, we had three directors, two of which dealt directly with me. They were great people and really funny. In high school, we had one of the best directors in the state (in our opinion). He was so dedicated to us. He made us work hard, harder than we thought we could, but it paid off when we received superiors at competitions. He was so funny, as well, though his sense of humor was subtle. My band directors have helped keep me in band. But this isn't the only reason; it can't be, because Senior year, our band director changed, and I didn't like some of the stuff he did. The Spirit of the band changed, and all of Senior year, I wanted out. But I didn't leave.
As I was thinking about this questions during the week between my lessons, and in the months since then, I have decided that my reasons are so well-hid that not even I can find them. It's like I drew a map of where I hid them, then lost it. I have figured out a few reasons why I play, though. Here they are:
1. I love music because it speaks directly to my soul. I feel the Spirit when I here good music. So, I play Horn to immerse myself in it.
2. Camaraderie. I know it may sound shallow, but I enjoy working with other musicians. They are very much like me, and so I get along with them. My friends are musicians, and that may be because I'm in band, but I think I'm in band partly because that's where the people I befriend are. Since coming to college, I've found a ton of friends, and only after knowing them awhile do I find out that most of them are in band (and at least five play French Horn).
3. The above two reasons are why I play music. Now, why do I play Horn? It started as a fling, where it sounded interesting. But the reason I stuck with Horn is this: it felt right. I played trumpet for a semester and I have tried to teach myself the flute. Neither of those stuck with me because they didn't feel right. Horn is what stayed because I am supposed to be playing it. I don't know why yet, but I know one day I will find out the higher purpose, even if it's just to bring me joy.
4. Which leads me to the fourth reason I play Horn: joy. I am happy when I'm playing Horn, even if I'm in pain or I'm frustrated, or bored. I love playing the Horn, creating something out of nothing. I told a friend awhile ago that I couldn't think of a blog title because I couldn't make something out of nothing. This may be true in writing sometimes, but it is never true when I'm playing my Horn. Just playing an F is creating beauty where nothing was a second ago.
While I may not know why I play French Horn, or the plan that God has for my life using it, the important thing is that I'm doing what I feel is right. So far, on my journey, I have picked up friends, sheet music, bruises on muscles I didn't know could get bruised, muscles I didn't even know I had, and an ability to recognize the Spirit as I play. I hope to gain more and more of these precious experiences, those moments when I touch another's soul in a way you can only do through music, as I continue to play and travel on the path to Eternity.
When my teacher asked me this in my lesson, I told her because I like to create music and I love the sound of the horn. She told me this wasn't good enough. It isn't.
I've played horn for seven years now. Think about that, if a soccer player just liked to kick a ball around and loved the sounds of a crowd, would he stick with soccer for seven years? I don't think so. These are pluses, but he's got to like the thrill of running around a field, fighting against an opposing team, controlling a little rolling thing...you get the idea.
Let's start at the beginning, to see how I got here, and maybe learn something along the way...
I started playing Horn in 6th grade. In 5th grade, they came to each class and passed around a sign-up sheet for those who wanted to join band. When it got to me, I picked Horn for three reasons:
1. It sounded like an interesting instrument.
2. My dad played it in High School.
3. It was challenging. You had to get the director's permission to play it. I like challenges.
These reasons lasted about a month. Sure, it was a challenge and an interesting instrument, but it didn't feel like much of a challenge for me: it came almost naturally, like math. And it really didn't matter that my dad had played it, that had only caught my attention. So I had to have new reasons to keep playing the Horn.
My second reason for playing was that I couldn't quit before getting one year into it. I also liked learning, and I learned that whole first year. I loved the people in our small band in sixth grade, and band was the only time I talked to them. I think a major part was that I didn't want to let anyone down by quitting (I was the only Horn).
Those reasons only hold up for 6th grade, however, because in 7th grade, I went to Junior High School and joined the 7th grade band. I was one of 6 horns, in a band that was at least five times bigger than the one I had just recently left. My band friends became my all-the-time friends, and we had a blast. No one would be severely let down if I quit, since I was one of six Horns sitting on the third row. All of my previous reasons once again became obsolete. I found myself, yet again, changing my reasons for playing, and not even realizing it.
I feel like 8th grade is the time when my current reasons started forming. Unfortunately, I didn't keep a journal back then, so I really don't know what I thought or way I stayed in band. Part of it was the friends I had there. As humans, we are social, and band was how I could be social really easily. I also really liked my band directors. In 8th grade, we had three directors, two of which dealt directly with me. They were great people and really funny. In high school, we had one of the best directors in the state (in our opinion). He was so dedicated to us. He made us work hard, harder than we thought we could, but it paid off when we received superiors at competitions. He was so funny, as well, though his sense of humor was subtle. My band directors have helped keep me in band. But this isn't the only reason; it can't be, because Senior year, our band director changed, and I didn't like some of the stuff he did. The Spirit of the band changed, and all of Senior year, I wanted out. But I didn't leave.
As I was thinking about this questions during the week between my lessons, and in the months since then, I have decided that my reasons are so well-hid that not even I can find them. It's like I drew a map of where I hid them, then lost it. I have figured out a few reasons why I play, though. Here they are:
1. I love music because it speaks directly to my soul. I feel the Spirit when I here good music. So, I play Horn to immerse myself in it.
2. Camaraderie. I know it may sound shallow, but I enjoy working with other musicians. They are very much like me, and so I get along with them. My friends are musicians, and that may be because I'm in band, but I think I'm in band partly because that's where the people I befriend are. Since coming to college, I've found a ton of friends, and only after knowing them awhile do I find out that most of them are in band (and at least five play French Horn).
3. The above two reasons are why I play music. Now, why do I play Horn? It started as a fling, where it sounded interesting. But the reason I stuck with Horn is this: it felt right. I played trumpet for a semester and I have tried to teach myself the flute. Neither of those stuck with me because they didn't feel right. Horn is what stayed because I am supposed to be playing it. I don't know why yet, but I know one day I will find out the higher purpose, even if it's just to bring me joy.
4. Which leads me to the fourth reason I play Horn: joy. I am happy when I'm playing Horn, even if I'm in pain or I'm frustrated, or bored. I love playing the Horn, creating something out of nothing. I told a friend awhile ago that I couldn't think of a blog title because I couldn't make something out of nothing. This may be true in writing sometimes, but it is never true when I'm playing my Horn. Just playing an F is creating beauty where nothing was a second ago.
While I may not know why I play French Horn, or the plan that God has for my life using it, the important thing is that I'm doing what I feel is right. So far, on my journey, I have picked up friends, sheet music, bruises on muscles I didn't know could get bruised, muscles I didn't even know I had, and an ability to recognize the Spirit as I play. I hope to gain more and more of these precious experiences, those moments when I touch another's soul in a way you can only do through music, as I continue to play and travel on the path to Eternity.
Saturday, December 4, 2010
9. Modern-Day Prophets
In General Conference, November 2010, a certain talk was mentioned twice: 14 Fundamentals in Following the Prophet", a talk by President Benson. I decided that since two of the living prophets had mentioned it, I should go look it up. So I did. The first thing that hit me was that it was given at BYU. That meant that his audience was college students, like us. His message was that we should follow the living Prophet and he gave us the fundamental lessons about doing so. His message hit home to me: my testimony of the Prophet has increased as I've read it. Here's what did it for me:
Point two: "The living prophet is more vital to us than the Standard Works."
Think about how many times we're told to read our scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon. They say it at least five times every conference, and bishops and stake presidents say it all the time throughout the year. It's said at least once a month in my ward. Think about your love for the scriptures, how strong it is. Then think "My love for the Prophet and how much time I spend reading his words should be more than that for the scriptures." Maybe we should sit down and read the Ensign...
Point five: "The prophet is not required to have any particular earthly training or diplomas to speak on any subject or act on any matter at any time."
No Prophet has had a doctorate in anything. Joseph Smith didn't even have a high school education, yet look at what he said, and how science has eventually proved it. Prophets don't have to know anything about a specific area, because God knows everything and will give them what they need to know. President Benson makes this promise: "if there is ever a conflict between earthly knowledge and the words of the prophet, you stand with the prophet and you’ll be blessed and time will show you have done the right thing."
Point six: "The prophet does not have to say “Thus saith the Lord” to give us scripture."
This is an interesting idea since this class has been talking about the use and power of words. Writing concisely means you write your thoughts and ideas with the fewest words possible while still getting your point across. Prophets speak concisely, which means they rarely say "Thus saith the Lord" anymore. They don't have to. Moses and Old Testament prophets did, but they had the lesser Law. The people didn't understand the importance of Prophets. Today, we do. Prophets always speak for the Lord. Follow every commandment, counsel, and word he says.
Point 14: "The prophet and the presidency—the living prophet and the First Presidency—follow them and be blessed—reject them and suffer."
“I thought how true, and how serious when we begin to choose which of the covenants, which of the commandments we will keep and follow, we are taking the law of the Lord into our own hands and become our own prophets, and believe me, we will be led astray, because we are false prophets to ourselves when we do not follow the Prophet of God. No, we should never discriminate between these commandments, as to those we should and should not keep.” -President N. Eldon Tanner
Can you imagine what would happen if people started picking and choosing commandments? If you're just looking at the Ten Commandments alone, that's 10! different permutations. Each permutation would become it's own church, and soon we'd have 3,628,800 additional churches on our hands! Think about what would happen as people: if one person picks "Love thy neighbor" to follow, and another decides to ignore "Thou shalt not kill", we'd have a massacre on our hands. The commandments are meant to be taken all together.
I really like the line "we are false prophets to ourselves when we do not follow the Prophet of God." This is logical. If we're not following God's Prophet, but we're following someone (ourselves) and some commandments, and we think that we are speaking for God, we just put ourselves up as a prophet who is false with one follower: yourself. From that point, everyone in Pres. Tanner's and Pres. Benson's audience would have heard of the scriptures about false prophets, and know the dangers and punishments that come with following them. Neither of them has to say what happens, we all know those who follow false prophets do not reach exaltation.
Here is something that hit me throughout the talk: the use of strong words. [bolding added]
“Now I tell you that a man in his position [following the dead prophets but rejecting the living ones] is on the way to apostasy. He is forfeiting his chances for eternal life. So is everyone who cannot follow the living prophet of God.” We've talked about the power of words; forfeit is such a powerful words. It connotes giving up, weakness, sorrow, loss. All are negative words. When I think of someone forfeiting, I think of someone who has given in to worldly pressures and lost his/her will to finish the task. I think of someone who has tried hard, but not hard enough, and who will regret that decision forever after. It is a powerful word, in connection with the greatest gift in this life: eternal life. How would it be to forfeit Eternal Life; to try hard, but not hard enough. To make all that work meaningless because you just didn't go far enough.
"Yea, they are they [rich, learned, and proud] whom he [God] despiseth." Despise. Hitler's hate of the Jews was powerful, but I've never heard anyone use the word "despise" in congruence with it. God hates those who are "wise, and ... learned, and they that are rich, who are puffed up" more than Hitler hated the Jews. Yet at the same time, He loves them enough to extend His infinite mercy towards them. I think that's a second part of the word "despise" that we overlook: despise does not equal hate. Despise is like hating someone's actions, while still loving the person, so you despise them. It's a powerful word, but to me, there is also hope behind that word.
"We should never discriminate between these commandments..." Never is such a powerful word, at least to me. I had a teacher who would say that "never" and "always" get overused and have come to mean something completely different. When we here "never", we take it to mean "I won't, unless...." "Never" does not have a condition on it, it is set in stone. Using that word here draws attention to the point and tells of the importance of it: we cannot ever discriminate between the commandments.
I loved this talk. It was written to us. It is rhetorically strong and sound. The point is important: follow the Living Prophet, God's mouthpiece on Earth. This has strengthened my testimony of following the Prophet and given me a greater conviction to read the Ensign as part of my scripture study.
Point two: "The living prophet is more vital to us than the Standard Works."
Think about how many times we're told to read our scriptures, especially the Book of Mormon. They say it at least five times every conference, and bishops and stake presidents say it all the time throughout the year. It's said at least once a month in my ward. Think about your love for the scriptures, how strong it is. Then think "My love for the Prophet and how much time I spend reading his words should be more than that for the scriptures." Maybe we should sit down and read the Ensign...
Point five: "The prophet is not required to have any particular earthly training or diplomas to speak on any subject or act on any matter at any time."
No Prophet has had a doctorate in anything. Joseph Smith didn't even have a high school education, yet look at what he said, and how science has eventually proved it. Prophets don't have to know anything about a specific area, because God knows everything and will give them what they need to know. President Benson makes this promise: "if there is ever a conflict between earthly knowledge and the words of the prophet, you stand with the prophet and you’ll be blessed and time will show you have done the right thing."
Point six: "The prophet does not have to say “Thus saith the Lord” to give us scripture."
This is an interesting idea since this class has been talking about the use and power of words. Writing concisely means you write your thoughts and ideas with the fewest words possible while still getting your point across. Prophets speak concisely, which means they rarely say "Thus saith the Lord" anymore. They don't have to. Moses and Old Testament prophets did, but they had the lesser Law. The people didn't understand the importance of Prophets. Today, we do. Prophets always speak for the Lord. Follow every commandment, counsel, and word he says.
Point 14: "The prophet and the presidency—the living prophet and the First Presidency—follow them and be blessed—reject them and suffer."
“I thought how true, and how serious when we begin to choose which of the covenants, which of the commandments we will keep and follow, we are taking the law of the Lord into our own hands and become our own prophets, and believe me, we will be led astray, because we are false prophets to ourselves when we do not follow the Prophet of God. No, we should never discriminate between these commandments, as to those we should and should not keep.” -President N. Eldon Tanner
Can you imagine what would happen if people started picking and choosing commandments? If you're just looking at the Ten Commandments alone, that's 10! different permutations. Each permutation would become it's own church, and soon we'd have 3,628,800 additional churches on our hands! Think about what would happen as people: if one person picks "Love thy neighbor" to follow, and another decides to ignore "Thou shalt not kill", we'd have a massacre on our hands. The commandments are meant to be taken all together.
I really like the line "we are false prophets to ourselves when we do not follow the Prophet of God." This is logical. If we're not following God's Prophet, but we're following someone (ourselves) and some commandments, and we think that we are speaking for God, we just put ourselves up as a prophet who is false with one follower: yourself. From that point, everyone in Pres. Tanner's and Pres. Benson's audience would have heard of the scriptures about false prophets, and know the dangers and punishments that come with following them. Neither of them has to say what happens, we all know those who follow false prophets do not reach exaltation.
Here is something that hit me throughout the talk: the use of strong words. [bolding added]
“Now I tell you that a man in his position [following the dead prophets but rejecting the living ones] is on the way to apostasy. He is forfeiting his chances for eternal life. So is everyone who cannot follow the living prophet of God.” We've talked about the power of words; forfeit is such a powerful words. It connotes giving up, weakness, sorrow, loss. All are negative words. When I think of someone forfeiting, I think of someone who has given in to worldly pressures and lost his/her will to finish the task. I think of someone who has tried hard, but not hard enough, and who will regret that decision forever after. It is a powerful word, in connection with the greatest gift in this life: eternal life. How would it be to forfeit Eternal Life; to try hard, but not hard enough. To make all that work meaningless because you just didn't go far enough.
"Yea, they are they [rich, learned, and proud] whom he [God] despiseth." Despise. Hitler's hate of the Jews was powerful, but I've never heard anyone use the word "despise" in congruence with it. God hates those who are "wise, and ... learned, and they that are rich, who are puffed up" more than Hitler hated the Jews. Yet at the same time, He loves them enough to extend His infinite mercy towards them. I think that's a second part of the word "despise" that we overlook: despise does not equal hate. Despise is like hating someone's actions, while still loving the person, so you despise them. It's a powerful word, but to me, there is also hope behind that word.
"We should never discriminate between these commandments..." Never is such a powerful word, at least to me. I had a teacher who would say that "never" and "always" get overused and have come to mean something completely different. When we here "never", we take it to mean "I won't, unless...." "Never" does not have a condition on it, it is set in stone. Using that word here draws attention to the point and tells of the importance of it: we cannot ever discriminate between the commandments.
I loved this talk. It was written to us. It is rhetorically strong and sound. The point is important: follow the Living Prophet, God's mouthpiece on Earth. This has strengthened my testimony of following the Prophet and given me a greater conviction to read the Ensign as part of my scripture study.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
8. There is a Brown Hill Far Away...
Past(er)
Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder… G-G-G-F-D-F-F-Eb-Eb-D
I knew the next line, so I looked up at the ceiling. The lights up there were blinding, but I liked tracing the gold chains of the lamps with my eyes. After tracing three on the lamp in the front-right corner, I looked back at the first line of the next verse. As usual, I sang a different part.
When thro’ the woods and forest glades I wander… Eb-Eb-C#-D-B-A-A-G-A-B
This time, I watched the black notes climb up and down the staff. I had to in order to sing the Alto part. I was getting better at hearing the note simply by what wrung of the staff it was on. As we reached the end of the verse, I looked up at the organ. It was a simple brown box on the right side of the stand, across from the grand piano on the left. The pipes rose, tall and grand, behind the choir seats. They didn’t work. I think at one time, they did, but the only things coming from those gold tubes were ghosts of songs sung long ago; from the wooden pipes came beauty, a reminder of the tall trees they used to be, even as they sat there, silently waiting for nothing. The big brass monsters hidden in the alcoves were silent guards of some long-lost sound that once shook the hearts of the congregation and filled the room with almost inaudible waves. When we had moved here the year before, I thought they were real until the choir director complained about how they just take up space that could be filled with choir seats.
Then sings my soul, me Savior God to Thee…
In thinking about something else, I had slipped back into the soprano part. That was alright. It simply changed the part I would sing on the fourth verse. I looked down again at the green Hymnal and prepared for the hardest part of all: the tenor.
When Christ…shall come…with shout of ac…clamation…Bb-Bb-Bb-Bb-F-F-F-F-F-F
This was the easiest part, because it doesn’t change notes very often, but it took the whole first line to find the right note: it was lower than I thought it was. It always happened like this. My voice always hurt at the end, but I still pushed myself to do it, just to make singing the hymn more interesting. It was getting easier to sing so low, the more I did it, but I had only been doing it for about a year, so my voice wasn’t yet used to it. I could sing down to the E below middle C. This song was especially hard, for it stayed at the lowest edge of my range
As the song finished, I closed the hymnal, cleared my throat and got ready for the prayer. As I closed my eyes, the song continued playing in my head: it was the band geek’s curse kicking in again. Her mind sucks in songs and plays them on repeat until it sucks in another song to replace it. And so I sat through Sacrament meeting, O Lord my God, waiting, Then sings my soul, for the Sacrament, my God, how great Thou art!, hymn to replace the one stuck in my head, how great Thou art!
Past
It was cold. I wasn’t nervous yet, but I knew the butterflies would fill my stomach as we walked to the field. Right now, though, all I thought was, “Why did Doc have us climb up this stupid hill two hours early?!” Two people had already almost broken their ankles in the stupid holes. Those holes made me nervous; someone said they were gopher holes, but they reminded me of the snake hole on the school playground in third grade. I hate snakes. Needless to say, I gave the holes a wide berth.
My uniform was tight, and I was used to that, but right now, it bothered me. I wanted to be able to move my arms freely: I couldn’t even raise them straight over my head. I was anxious and annoyed. My calves were starting to burn from all the climbing; that wasn’t good, because they always hurt after basics, and if I started with them aching, it was really painful by the end.
I really wanted to be back in the stadium. Loveland had been next, and their show was always amazing. We never got to watch very many other bands; we were always practicing…
We finally reached a flat part of the hill and started warm-up. I got so bored, I zoned out and almost fell when I took the first step and the ground wasn’t where it was supposed to be. I snapped back to the real world as all my muscles screamed at me for direction. In the blink of an eye, I recovered; I and everyone else focused on our feet and looked down at the ground through our instruments so we wouldn’t step in the holes. The murmur of voices rose as the lines started wiggling back and forth to dodge the gopher mounds.
“I know it’s bad up here, just do your best and focus!” Dave, our instructor, called us to order, reminding us what was ahead. Pomona was one of the hardest competitions and it was good preparation for State. Slowly, we focused. We worked through basics, not doing anything faster than 128 bpm so no one would break a leg. Finally, Dave had us finish and Doctor C called for music warm-up. This was the reason we had come so far away: we lost points if we played anywhere near the stadium that wasn’t a designated warm-up spot, and we didn’t get one of those spots for another hour. It still irked that we had to even practice so early; no other band practiced as much as us. But Doc was the boss.
We set up in our circle. Doc had us do a warm-up scale, and then he started going around with a tuner. As he did, we did our before-competition handshakes. That went quickly, and then I zoned out again. By this time, the sun had set; it was just a fading half-circle of light on the horizon. The stars were coming out above us. From our hill, we could see the city below; I didn’t know which one it was. I thought it might be Colorado Springs. That’s pretty, I thought, and then let my mind go blank. As Doc got to the flutes, just two sections away, I heard it.
“Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder…” It was just a murmur, sung under someone’s breath. I looked to see where it was coming from. There was only one other Mormon in the band, but he wasn’t singing. Then I pinpointed the source: Dave Hein, my fellow mello. I was shocked. Dave did not strike me as the kind of guy who would know that song, let alone sing it. This was the guy who messed around during practice and had to run laps because he was late a lot. He was always talking back to Abbe, making sexual jokes, and last year, at the final run-through…I didn’t even want to think about that. I had no idea he was religious.
“You’re singing that song, Dave?” I asked, trying to suppress my surprise and failing.
“It’s a good song,” he replied. I think he was a little embarrassed that I had noticed, because he didn’t sing again, but it didn’t matter. I looked at him in a new light.
Doc was tuning the Mellos now, so I turned forward and got ready to play. As I tuned, I was still partially in shock. When Doc moved on past me and I put my instrument down, I was hit full-blast with the view of the sunset. I looked at the stars shining in the sky, and the lights of the city sparkling in response. The first line of the song ran through my band geek brain again and again, for that was all I knew of it: Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder, consider all the worlds Thy hands have made. I looked out over the valley and the glory and beauty God created there, and I thought of the child of God standing two people to my right. At the most unexpected time, in a place I had never thought I would feel it, I felt the Spirit of the Lord fill my soul. As we focused on our performance, I tucked that feeling away and fed on the strength it gave me to perform one of the best shows of the year.
Present
Oh Lord my God, when I in awesome wonder… G-G-G-F-D-F-F-Eb-Eb-D
As the song starts with the only line I had known back then, I am transported back to that twilight-lit hill. I see the stars hanging in the darkening sky, the pale glow of the fading sun on the horizon, and the soft glow and sparkle of the city lights below us.
When thro’ the woods and forest glades I wander… Eb-Eb-C#-D-B-A-A-G-A-B
As I now easily switch from part to part, I feel the soft give of the sandy dirt beneath my feet. I hear the soft scratch of the dry tumbleweed against my pant legs. I can see the stickers I’ve collected on the climb up the hill, stuck all over my black tube socks, standard issue for a band geek.. As I look around me, I see the mounds surrounding the gaping black chasms of those stupid gopher holes.
Then sings my soul, me Savior God to Thee…Bb-Bb-Bb-Bb-F-F-F-F-F-F
I hear Dave’s voice singing softly to my right, “Oh Lord my God…” I feel the love start to swell in my heart.
When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation and take me home, what joy shall fill my heart! Then I shall kneel in humble adoration, and there proclaim, ‘My God, how great Thou art!’
I belt out those words in the soprano part, sending my heart and soul to the world. My heart is exploding with the love I feel inside, my soul soaring with the joy of the Gospel and exalting in the beauty of the world surrounding me. I look up at the lights in the meetinghouse, and remember the gorgeous stars of that night; I trace the chains of the lamps with my eyes before the prayer, and as I close my eyes, I see the glittering lights of the city reflected in their golden faces. I listen to the prayer as one of my favorite songs plays in the background.
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